


oh my god

by myung



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: EXO - Freeform, KaiChen, M/M, chenkai - Freeform, walmart au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 22:15:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9291779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myung/pseuds/myung
Summary: walmart au lmao // leaving jongin in charge of stacking the rolls in a beautiful pyramid was not a good idea. now there’s packaged toilet paper every which way in a fifteen foot radius and walmart opens in five minutes and goddammit jongdae is not paid enough for this.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i posted this story on my aff account (minhollucinate) in september 2015, so... yeah, it's been a while

“oh my god.”

jongin cringes and stoops down to pick up the fallen rolls of toilet paper.

“sorry? i’m sorry, hyung, i’m so, so sorry.”

jongdae tiredly rubs his forehead. leaving jongin in charge of stacking the rolls in a beautiful pyramid was not a good idea. now there’s packaged toilet paper every which way in a fifteen foot radius and walmart opens in five minutes and goddammit jongdae is not paid enough for this.

“it’s okay, i’ll take care of it. just go over there and.” jongdae waves his arms around. “just. um. go wash the windows or something.” he gets to work arranging the toilet paper, ignoring jongin’s “which ones?”

he’ll deal with him later. after he gets a large coffee with three shots of espresso. lord help him.

 

“oh my god.”

“but hyung how was i supposed to know tha—”

“this is why you don’t play tag with taemin in the cereal aisle!” jongdae wails, moving his arm in a sweeping motion over the piles of fallen cereal boxes at their feet. “how are you guys even in college?”

the two culprits look at jongdae guiltily and nudge each other in the ribs. jongdae huffs angrily.

“i won’t play the blame game if you two clean this up. i don’t care whose fault it is. i’ll be back in ten minutes. everything better be in place, or the manager will be notified of this… situation.”

jongdae spins on his heel and marches away, ears catching taemin’s hushed “what does jongdae hyung have up his ass all the time?” and his irritation gives way to defeat. despite being only two years older than them, he’s never gotten along with taemin or jongin or any of the other younger workers. it’s not surprising, though. all jongdae ever does is yell and worry and sigh so who would like him?

he’s quiet and withdrawn for the rest of the day, silently berating himself for being so affected by taemin’s words. why should he care what taemin and jongin think about him? they’re just kids. punk ass kids who play tag in the cereal aisle and make his job harder than it has to be.

after the work day ends and jongdae is verbally slapped around by the manager (who ended up finding out about what happened in the cereal aisle anyway), he crawls into a tent display to hide and hopefully die. he contemplates climbing into the ball pit to spite his manager but decides against it. thanks to jongin, jongdae’s seen firsthand the destruction a boy in a ball pit makes.

“hey…”

jongdae glances up. jongin steps into the tent, zipping it up behind him. jongdae rolls over to make room for him and the younger man sits cross-legged beside him.

“sorry about what happened today,” jongin mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “i didn’t know you would get yelled at. it was my fault. i’m sorry.”

jongdae sighs. this kid. “it’s okay, jongin. it doesn’t matter.”

jongin’s eyes widen. “okay, who are you and what have you done with my hyung?”

jongdae squints up at him. on top of being a messy, disillusioned man-child, jongdae didn’t expect jongin to have sudden amnesia, too.

“um. i don’t—”

“the real kim jongdae takes walmart very seriously! absolutely no clowning around.” jongin contorts his face into some sort of grimace that’s obviously supposed to be an imitation of jongdae.

jongdae frowns, pulling himself into a sitting position. “yeah, i guess i’ve got a stick up my ass, don’t i.”

he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up, startled.

“no, you don’t. you’re responsible and you keep me on track,” jongin says reassuringly, smiling at him. “you always try to stop me and taemin from doing something stupid. really, hyung, without you, i would’ve lost this job a long time ago.” he pouts. “i just wanna have fun, though. walmart is boring and all the girls follow me around the store when i’m on my way to the bathroom but i can't yell at them even though i really need to pee.”

“that’s because you’re cute,” jongdae laughs, poking his cheek.

jongin retracts his arm from jongdae’s shoulder to over-enthusiastically perform gwiyomi, batting his eyelashes and making kissy faces. “really, hyung? do you like this? 1 + 1 is—”

“gross,” jongdae says, unzipping the tent and scrambling out. “absolutely disgusting. you are the spawn of satan.”

“hyung,” jongin whines, crawling after him.

 

“so.”

jongdae blinks. “so.”

baekhyun giggles ( _ew_ , jongdae thinks) and leans in close. “there’s a lot of speculation on what you and jongin were doing in that tent yesterday.”

jongdae feels as if he might be ill. baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows.

“what the hell? where’d you hear that? nothing happened, jongin was just being a nerd.”

“nice try, jongdae. everyone knows jongin’s got the hots for you.”

now jongdae’s definitely ill. “ummmm?”

baekhyun flutters his eyelashes. “you mean you didn’t know? oh, my." he puts his head on his hands and leans closer to jongdae, inches away from his face. it isn't pleasant. "it's so obvious, though. anyone can tell just by the way he looks at you."

jongdae wrinkles his nose. he can smell the greasy remnants of the cheeseburger baekhyun ate for lunch.

"i don't even know what you're... anyway, what would we be doing in a display tent? that's gross."

"well, if you must know, jongin looks at you like i look at snsd’s live performances on youtube."

"like a perv?"

"okay, maybe that was a bad comparison. let's see... well, jongin looks at you like a little kid looks at a candy shop. like zitao looks at junmyeon's wallet. like dogs look at bones. like you look at vanilla bean ice cream that has dark chocolate syrup and rainbow sprinkles on top."

jongdae feels faint. "are you sure? why would jongin like me? that's so—"

his friend shakes his head. "don't ask me. matter of fact, don't ask jongin, either. you should be honest with your own feelings first before you talk to that kid." baekhyun looks around before whispering, "so you really didn't do anything in the tent?"

"fuck off, byun."

 

jongdae is in a daze throughout the rest of the afternoon.

he accidentally takes a customer to the weight loss aisle instead of the bathroom they requested directions to, which leads to a smack on the cheek. then he knocks over a cartful of ice creams meant to restock the freezers and lets out an embarrassing squeak when jongin’s hand brushes his while they pick up the ice cream cartons together.

jongdae is demoted to stocking the DVD racks. he finishes 20 minutes in, but no one seems anxious to give him anything else to do, so he takes all the DVDs back out and refills the racks over and over.

he’s on his tenth turn when a voice startles him.

“jongdae hyung?”

“yes?” he replies, whirling around to face jongin. oh, fuck, shit.

“you’re messing up even more than i am today,” jongin says carefully. “are you okay?”

“yeah, yeah, totally,” jongdae says, scrambling to put the DVDs back in their rightful places. he tries not to look at jongin’s face. he doesn’t know why, but jongin seems more… cute today. it’s terrifying. jongdae really wants to punch baekhyun.

“are you sure?” jongin persists. he frowns at jongdae’s lack of attention. “hyung, look at me. are you still sad about yesterday? i told you that i—”

“i’m fine, really,” jongdae says. he dodges jongin’s hand and lets out a nervous laugh. jongin’s chest is almost right in front of his face and he feels a little dizzy because oh my god he smells really good.

the younger man’s hand manages to turn jongdae’s chin up towards him.

“hyung, are you sick?

jongdae smiles feebly. his gaze wanders over jongin’s face, his puppy eyes, his smooth skin, his lips. his lips. his lips. his. lips.

this is bad.

he can feel jongin’s breath on his chin, and jongin’s eyes drop down to jongdae’s own lips and for fuck’s sake, they’re about to kiss in a walmart, when of course baekhyun saunters up from behind.

“hey jongdae, did you finish the— woah, what is going on here—”

jongdae emits some kind of high-pitched squeal that isn’t too unlike his squeak from earlier, and frees himself of jongin’s hand in favor of clinging to baekhyun’s.

baekhyun glances back and forth between the two of them. “what…”

“i’ll tell you later,” jongdae grits out, then steers him towards the employee break rooms in the back— away from jongin, away from the gaze that’s burning a hole in his blue polo.

 

“this is all your fault,” jongdae declares after pacing back and forth for five minutes. “if you hadn’t told me about jongin, then i wouldn’t have freaked out around him, and then he wouldn’t have cornered me, and then nothing would be awkward.”

baekhyun looks amused. “who says it’s because of me? jongin looks at you like you’re the best thing in the world, but then you always look back at him the same way.”

“what are you talking about?” jongdae demands. he can feel the blood rushing to his ears.

“don’t play dumb,” baekhyun accuses. “there’s a running bet between me, chanyeol, and kyungsoo on how long it’ll take for you guys to make out— oops, i mean go out.”

jongdae’s jaw drops. his own friends are against him. and kyungsoo! kyungsoo of all people! who knew he was so uncivilized?

“i hate you guys.”

baekhyun’s “same, bitch” is barely out of his mouth when the door flies open.

“hyung, our shifts are over. i’m going to borrow you for a while,” jongin announces, his mouth set in a determined line. he shoots a glare at baekhyun, who holds both hands up in mock surrender.

“where are we going?” jongdae asks timidly when jongin drags him outside. it’s dark outside, the lamp posts throwing little pools of light on the asphalt of the parking lot. jongdae hopes jongin’s not planning to, like, murder him or something because then the last person who saw him alive was baekhyun and he doesn't really like the thought of that.

“...um, are yoummmff.”

jongin’s lips push insistently against his, and jongdae doesn't want to pull away, but he does. he shoves jongin so hard that the younger man almost topples over.

"what are you doing?" jongdae demands. he ignores the tingles that seem to be spreading throughout his entire body. is he sick? infected? did jongin drag him out here to give him a disease?

“i was kissing you.”

“yeah, well, no shit, sherlock! i’m asking why! why did you kiss me?”

“i don’t know, hyung, why were you about to kiss me a little while ago?” jongin challenges.

jongdae sighs. he ruffles his hair and looks down at his black sneakers. “are you really going to make me say it? i think you know already. i think you knew all along.”

“i think i do now,” jongin says softly, “and i think you know about me, too.”

he takes careful hold of jongdae’s shaking hands. “hyung, i’ve liked you for a while now. i really, really want this,” he says, eyes a little desperate. “please tell me you want this, too.”

a nervous inhale. 

"of course," jongdae replies, voice trembling.

a relieved exhale.

jongin grins and tugs jongdae closer. 

“did you know that baekhyun, chanyeol, and kyungsoo bet on when we would get together?” jongdae says, smiling.

jongin laughs. “no. but whoever guessed ‘now’ would be correct, right?”

“right,” jongdae says, going on tiptoes to cup jongin’s beaming face. “100% right.”

this time, when their lips meet, jongdae is certain.

 

“damn,” chanyeol sighs, unpeeling his face from the large window overlooking the parking lot.

“shoulda seen it coming,” baekhyun mutters. he reluctantly takes out his wallet.

“bitch better have my money,” kyungsoo deadpans, snatching the bills from chanyeol’s and baekhyun’s hands. “pay me what you owe me.”

“fucking hell, kyungsoo.”


End file.
